Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Being a mom…

Hey guys! I have really been struggling lately with getting this stay at home mom routine down.  Let me preface this (as I usually do when I talk about it) with the fact that I LOVE being home with sweet Ellie, I feel so lucky and wouldn’t change it for the world. I also realize other moms wish they could do the same, but either can’t financially do it or have something else that just doesn’t let it work out for them…I understand my venting or babbling on about it might sound like I am ungrateful…not the case at all. I also understand staying home is not for all moms, and that is totally ok with me!!! If I can’t be truthful and spill my guts about what I am thinking and feeling then my writing would be complete crap!

Long preface…sorry!

Back to what has been on my mind…I feel this intense responsibility and weight on my shoulders to raise this precious little girl the best way possible.  I realize what is best for us may not be what is best for everyone else…either way, it is stressful sometimes to have that pressure on you. I am sure this is not a unique feeling…no matter if you stay home, are a working mom, a dad…it probably doesn’t matter because the second you have a baby that feeling starts kicking in.

“crap, I am responsible for this little life…sometimes I can barely take care of myself, how in the hell am I going to be able to provide everything she/he deserves?!?!”

Not only is there this giant urge to do and to make everything the best it can be for her…it all goes so fast! We went and visited friends recently who just had a baby…he was soooo tiny. I couldn’t believe how hard it was to try and remember Ellie being that tiny, she was actually an entire pound smaller!!! Time goes so fast. I know everyone says this, “enjoy every minute because they grow up so fast” but until you live it you don’t really get it.  She will be 9 months in a few weeks…nine months I was pregnant and it seems like it took forever, but 9 months of this little joy growing up has flown by!!!!

I read a blog post the other day on Ruthie’s blog (you can find it HERE) and she was talking about the misconceptions of a stay at home mom.  She said one thing in particular that seriously stuck with me and I can’t stop thinking about. She said “the days are long, so long sometimes…but the years are short” meaning each day I spend at home with Ellie can be so long and she can be crabby or tired and I feel like the day will never end, but when I look back and see how big she is so fast time has flown by!!! It makes me so sad and happy. I can’t wait for her to start walking and making cookies with me and talking, but I also want her to stay little and chubby and army crawling everywhere forever! 

Being a mom is the hardest but most fulfilling job I have ever had. I am so excited for what the years will bring, but for now I am just trying to grasp a hold of the days and make them count as much as possible!!!

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1 comment:

  1. my best friend is going through the same thing. Her Son is over a year now. But it was so hard for her to stay home. She worked for years and now stays at home. She told me its hard but she knows she can't get the years back and everyday it gets better. Ellie got a great mama and it will get better :O)