Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Where have I been!?!?!?!

Ok...I know i have been MIA for almost a month from my poor blog, but I have good reason,

My entire life I have always had roommates, whether it was my lovely little sister, dorm life, apartment roommates, or housemates...I have always lived with someone. I always liked that lifestyle...so sharing a room with my sister that is 8 years younger than me wasn't always the best of times, but for the most part roommate lifestyle and me really got along.

Two years ago when I moved back to Ohio I rented an apartment and lived by myself for the first time in my life. At first it was horrible...i was going thru so many things in my life all at once that I did not want to face at all. So being by myself was something that forced me to analyze my life in a way that having roommates doesn't make you do...in this very uncomfortable and naked way that leaves you feeling completely vulnerable. I was reminded of this feeling while reading the book, "Eat, Pray, Love". In the book she says,

"When I get lonely these days I think, so be lonely. Learn your way around lonliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life."

So, slowly I learned to become friends with lonliness. It was actually not that bad once you saw it for what it was...a time to really figure out who you are, a time to learn more about yourself, a time to evaluate your strenths and weakness. Its during your lonliest times that you discover how strong you can be...and in discovering that strenth you feel free...ok ,so at least I did. I cant really speak for every one and maybe lonliness doesnt have the same affect on other people... but i encourage you, the next time lonliness comes knocking on your door...answer it and sit with it for a while because you could be surprised at what you discover, i know i was!

At any rate...after two years of "discovering" myself (which was much needed I might say) I am now proud to be back in the roommate club. I live with Kelly...my cousin and also, I am happy to say, one of my best friends.

Although lonliness and I got pretty close over the last couple of years...having a roomate and not living by myself best suites me. As i draw closer to my 30th birthday i would have to say i am pretty proud of myself and am content with where my life is headed, except for maybe one thing...I wanna be a billionare so freaking bad!! (haha)